A long time...

Well it has been a while. That is for sure. The snow has fallen, the holidays came and went, and we are still here.. :)

The house is wonderful. But just like with our last home, it seems that weekends are marred by chores again. I need to just let go of the OCD clean queen stuff and say "hey a couple of dust bunnies won't kill me"....

I have a new boss, officially now. Don't know what to think of that. I guess only time will tell.

But the real thing on my mind is dealing with a holiday miscarriage, and now seems like we just can't get a baby to stick... Poor Maddie is going nuts about wanting babies, and it just makes the whole thing so much worse.

And now, the board that sets the rules for certified nurse midwives want's to make it against the rules for a HBAC, or a VBAC at a birth center. So in a time when the VBAC rate has plummeted, one more option is being taken away. I see all these ads for Portsmouth Hospital's "womens pavilion" and I want to barf! I am excluded from that. They do not "do" VBACS. Neither does Exeter, York, Wentworth Douglas. So the two options are Manchester, or Boston. Oh, yeah, the third option, just let them cut me open again for no good reason besides I am an insurance risk.

Gag. No one cares. In the age of celebrity cesareans, patient demand cesareans and lawsuit happy hell, no one wants to touch this. SO I am left throwing snowballs into the pits of medical hell, and well, it seems like it does not make one bit of difference.

Bugger.